Warning: Don’t look them up on Facebook, because they’ll make you nauseous
You might see the headline of this story and think oh finally, a story about attractive young women who love to ski or a young child who is learning how to ski. If you roll with a different crowd, you might know this term as it relates to people, typically women, who are addicted to cocaine. If so, you’re in for a different kind of adventure, because this isn’t a story about skiing or cocaine. This is an expose of snow bunnies in the context of White women who explicitly fetishize their preference for relationships with Black men and vice versa.
Also, I’d like to let it be known that I will be discussing the term snow bunny as it pertains to White women that exclusively date Black men, but this can apply to all genders along the spectrum, as discrimination and toxic fetishization do not just pertain to one gender. A snow bunny can also be a gay White man who exclusively dates Black men, a straight White man who exclusively dates Black women, and so on.
Actually, the term is a part of a larger phrase: “snow bunnies with jungle fever.” It’s a repugnant fetishiszation frequently used by entities like PornHub. Most often, I saw these comments on Tinder and Bumble. I’m bi, so I had the lovely privilege of seeing cis-gendered individuals looking to match on both sides of the binary. I’d see bio descriptions from women with the clarification that they were seeking big black cock or booty only—#teamblackboys or #teamblackgirls and bio descriptions from men with the goal of finding their perfect snow bunny.
As a person of mixed race, I technically could fit into both descriptions. I tended to be rejected by both groups of people, although I wasn’t looking to be accepted by people who limit their intimate relations to a specific race. As a human being, I didn’t want to fit within such constraints, nor did I feel such “preferences” were appropriate to advertise.
I’m no stranger to having my race play a huge part in my intimate relationships. Most often, my race is a point of contention or fascination for those who, upon initially seeing me in a social setting, feel the need to comment on my mixed race and try to engage me on the basis of exotic allure. “What are you?” is often the question I get hit with before I proceed to roll my eyes and walk away or placate my disdain with a nervous smile to ensure my safety.
To get into the nitty gritty repercussions of snow bunnies, let’s take a look at some of the reasons White women limit their racial pool in dating to just Black men:
- The Big Black Cock
- The Hallmark of “I Can’t Be Racist, My Boyfriend Is Black”
- The Experience of ‘Jungle Fever’
- The Mixed Baby
These are all disgusting and turn Black people into objects. It’s fucking dehumanizing.
Let it be known that if you are a White woman reading this, it’s okay to date Black men! It’s just not okay to only date Black men for any of the reasons included in my four-point list. By doing that, you are inherently discriminating against all other races and placing a nasty level of fetishization upon Black men by viewing them as an object for your image and/or future, rather than real human beings with value and diversity within race. Also know that there is an inherent subjugation of women of color in this racial preference because by enabling the idea of the snow bunny, the WOC is regarded as less than, as impure, crazy, bitter, or angry.
Guess what? We are fucking angry.
It’s exhausting to be regarded as an object of fascination before the fetishization kicks in about how one’s race plays into their personality and their character and their so-called abilities based on provocative and harmful stereotypes. I think what’s most frustrating about this snow bunny trend is that it also enables White people to take freely from Black culture—not in the sense that they are ‘taking’ our people from us—in the form of cultural hijacking that people of color get judged for on the daily. By dating Black men, White women feel enabled to take on a culture that wasn’t meant for them and mutilate it. They get weaves and are seen as trendy, turning a profit; Black women get the weaves they’ve been getting for decades and they’re regarded as ghetto, ratchet, and unnatural. White women wear styles taken from Black fashion—like the ribbed bodycon dress and skin tight tracksuits— and are called inclusive and progressive, markers of change and acceptance. Black women wear the styles they made and get called ugly, stupid, tacky, and ghetto (gettofabulous, if society is feeling generous that day).
This is not an attack on White women or White people. We all need to do better. White people need to stop regarding Black lives as objects for their pleasure and entertainment, because Black people are not items. Consequently, Black people must show themselves more respect and fight their own dehumanization.
The idolization of Whiteness or Blackness ostracizes the individual, telling them that their worth is based on the color of their skin rather than recognizing that they are complex human beings. Not all White women are the same; neither are Black guys carbon copies of one another.
We are more. Let us show each other.
As a word of advice for the reader, I’d avoid looking up “snow bunny” on Facebook. It’s nauseating.